Monday, December 6, 2010

103? Who-hoo! Hope you love the rest of Chapter 18

Whoa. Look at that! We broke a hundred over the weekend. Thanks, everybody for spreading the word. Thanks for all the comments, too. Keep them coming. Remember, every one means another entry in the big giveaway at the end of the book.

I got some more good news. Thanks to all of you, UNBROKEN CONNECTION and SING ME TO SLEEP both received enough nominations to become official Whitney Award Nominees. Now it's up to the judges to decide if they are good enough to be finalists. I'll let you know if I get good news.

Thanks for all the comments over the weekend. I'm glad you liked that last scene in Michael's POV. I just felt it worked better that way.

So, here, to brighten up your Monday is a mesmerizing (well, I intend it to be mesmerizing someday) diving scene. Losing my editor and having Razorbill reject Michael and Leesie's continued journey was painful, but here is a silver lining. I don't have to fight with anyone every time I want to include a diving scene. My editor--probably for the best--made me cut most of the gazillion dive scenes I wrote for TAKEN BY STORM. I had to fight for the scenes we left in and heavily revise them to make them more relevant.

I've learned not to overload the story with them, but here and there, I think they can be wonderfully romantic. So here's my cure for Monday Moodiness. Enjoy.

POEM # ??,

Water closes over my head.
My pulse rate triples.
Michael, his face inches
from mine as we sink
together, motions slow,
take it slow, slow, slow.

I swallow, and my ears pop
like we practiced yesterday
in the pool, swallow again.
No pinching my nose and blowing
like I learned with him back
in SLC in that pretty hotel pool—
he’s worried about pressure
on my weakened nose.

To avoid strain on my newly
healed collarbone, Michael
geared me up in the water,
kicking tanks and weights to where
I floated and gently wrapping me
in the complex web of equipment.

He motions, Okay?
I nod—remember to return
his signal, swallow again
and bump my leg into his
on purpose. 
Private lesson today.
No other students.
Just him and me, coral
and aqua water. Stray fish
staring at me like I’m an alien.

Alex with her students stir
up the sand on the other side
of the boat.

I’m in a new world with
Michael—his world
where my heart races
and I want to kick free
and swim for blue skies,
his world where his bubbles
breaking around me calm
my soul enough to pass off
skills kneeling in the sand,
wetsuited knees touching,
gauges checked, masks cleared,
air supply recovered, buddy

Buoyancy balanced, he
leads me on a swim around
that wipes away the last wisps
of fear with wonder.
Is this really just under the surface?
Or did he transport me?
Am I on the moon? Mars? Venus?
A purplish world where
large flat fans screen the water
in lazy rhythm, fantastical formations
top every choral head.
A kingdom of tiny bright subjects
whiz in and out of their intricate
castles. Yellow. Blue. Black. Orange.
Vivid in tubular rays descending
from our own bright sun,
revealing their hidden playground.

Too soon we’re on the surface.
Too soon Michael unsnaps my B.C.
and unsnugs the Velcro cumber bun.
Too soon he boosts me back into the boat.
Too soon he reads the delight
in my face.

“Can we go again?”
I’m dying for another taste
of this mystery he loves so much.

He crushes me close, wipes a tear
from his eye before it can fall.
“Sure, babe.” He whispers,
“I love you.”
I blink, sniff, and manage to say,
“I know,” before his lips
take my breath away.


  1. I LOVE IT. It's actualy pretty interesting to see Michael's world close-up. And since it's from Leesie's POV, it feels ike I'm there, too, her being a newbie and all. And it fits in great, him being a dive instructor first of all, them being in Cayman, second of all, and Leesie needing, BIG TIME spiritual hep, third of all. Saltwater therapy? XD
    LOVE IT.

  2. Oh, I love this! Especially the ending!

  3. Yes! Finally! Leesie and Michael have some time alone together! They're sooo sweet. I love them even more every time. I love your poems. They are very descriptive and captivating--really describe the feelings, emotions, and create depth into their relationship. This entire chapter took my breath away! It's so beautiful...and I honestly cannot believe we're already on chapter eighteen! It's been soooo great reading this. I honestly feel every emotion Leesie and Michael are feeling. Can't wait for chapter nineteen! :)

  4. I added the kiss after I typed the poem and was getting ready to post it! Glad you liked it, Gayle. Guess I better get to work on Chapter 19!

  5. I loved this too. The ending was so perfect. LOVE them. Please let them be together in the end. I know it wont be easy, and MAJOR things have to happen for them to be together forever..but I'm not sure I could handle it if they are not.

  6. You have no idea how much I need this today!!!!

  7. Leesie's seeing Michael's world for the first time without being frightened. And liking it. Love the descriptions. It's beautiful!

  8. i like that she is not scared anymore..but this is not what i expected for the rest of chapter 18 ..i hope chapter 19 really sets it off like going back home..
    are they gonna get married ?

  9. I'll never tell, Trullybless12!

  10. I'd like to just say while I totally respect editors and know they know what they are doing I also could imagine how it feels to have someone pick my story apart- I'm glad you get to include this this time around with no hesitance.

    I also loved this! I'm all squirmish wondering what is next